I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
