she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
