i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
