My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
