It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im holly from the hills drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
