Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
