Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
