Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
