it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Still dying that you shit outside
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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