Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
