He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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