Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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