kristin has been a bad kristin
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
