I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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