Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
