problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
