I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
