Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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