Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
