oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
