I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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