So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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