Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
