I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
