Apparently you make a good broom.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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