How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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