we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Maybe he injected his testicle?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
