I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't deserve a penis
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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