Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
