at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
