This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
