glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
