# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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