And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
