the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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