to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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