FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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