Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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