if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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