I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sorry about my life...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Never underestimate the power of titties
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
