Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
