you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
