Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
