I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
