Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
