carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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