I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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