I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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