:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
