; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
