on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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