How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
