Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
