So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
