Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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