speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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