k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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