I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
