I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
