seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone shattered a urinal.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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