You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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