You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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