sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize