Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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