The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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